Some of the most crushing disappointments in my adult life have turned out to be great gifts from God. In those moments, I felt as if my dreams were falling apart, but looking back, I realize I was mistaken.
If someone had told me back then that missing out on a better-paying job was actually a blessing, I probably would have replied with a sarcastic, ‘Oh, thanks a lot, God. I really appreciate not being able to afford a reliable car.’
Thinking back, I have to laugh. I vividly recall my oldest son’s first vaccinations when he was just a couple of months old. As I held him, he watched the doctor with wide-eyed curiosity. Then came the needle, and he turned to me with a look of pure outrage, as if to say, ‘How could you let this happen? You’ve betrayed me.’
Despite all the debates swirling around today, we chose those shots because we wanted to shield him from dangers he couldn’t see. Looking back, I’m grateful we did—he grew up healthy and strong. In much the same way, God shields us not just from harm, but from settling for less than what He intends for us, or from stumbling into a life that serves only as a cautionary tale.
Even when we know God is always watching over us and wanting the best for us, it’s so easy to slip back into believing we know what’s best for ourselves. God wants us to discover the truth, to recognize His wisdom, goodness, and grace. And if we miss the lesson the first nine times, He’s patient enough to teach us a tenth.
The Tenth Lesson
For 21 consecutive semesters, I taught AP Macroeconomics. Each semester was a furious race from start to finish. It was the toughest subject I ever taught, but also the most rewarding. My students were generally very bright and motivated, and many were labeled ‘gifted and talented’ by the school. Their minds were sharp and analytical, yet when I introduced them to economic principles, many struggled. Economics asks us to see the world in a way that often turns childhood lessons upside down.
Many of these students were accustomed to mastering every subject, with some never seeing anything less than an A. So when their first quiz or test in my class came back with a score in the 50s or 60s, it hit them hard. Even though I warned them they’d struggle at first, many were devastated. More than one person confided that my quiz was the lowest grade they’d ever received.
But I knew that if they hung in there, the fog would lift and the concepts would click. They just needed time for these new ideas to settle in and take root.
That’s why, in those early weeks, I offered generous grade boosts—a 52 on a first quiz could become an 86 if a student came to tutorials. Convincing lifelong high achievers that I was rooting for them took patience and persistence. Not every AP teacher is willing to look past the numbers, but I couldn’t just mark a grade and move on.
The Teddy Bear
I think that compassion grew out of seeing how God protected me from myself over the years. You rarely understand it in the moment, but in hindsight, it all fits together. Eventually, one student who often came to my after-school tutorials grinned at me and said, ‘I know what you are. You’re a teddy bear.’
Of course, I would never call God the Father a teddy bear, but any love or care I offered was just a reflection of the love God has shown me. So when disappointments come—and they always do—we need to remember that we have a loving Father who wants good things for us. Even if we cannot see where He is leading, we can trust that it is for our good if we belong to Him.
I realize that some will struggle with this idea. Those who have endured heartbreaking losses, like the death of someone they love, may find it impossible to see any good in it, and that pain is deeply real. Yet we all know that death comes for everyone, and for followers of Christ, even death is not the end but the doorway to a greater good.
Perfectly Healed
My wife’s grandfather died when she was a child, and I have heard the story from the funeral many times. Some women from his church came up to my mother-in-law after the service and offered their condolences and told her that they had prayed and prayed that God would heal her father. My mother-in-law, an incredibly wise and godly woman, told the ladies, “Oh, he was perfectly healed.”
In the end, every disappointment, every loss, and every unanswered prayer for healing rests under this promise. As Paul wrote, “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18, NKJV)
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